I’d say I’ve currently got a pretty even split of male and female clients. The things people bring to therapy obviously vary greatly. However, I would say the most common thing that is currently coming up in my work is male role models. 

A good place to begin exploring this may be my position as a male therapist. Depending on what you read you will get slightly different numbers, but the percentage of therapists that are men in the UK is somewhere around 17%. Add into the mix that I’m (currently) 34 and the average age of a therapist in general is 53, then my position is quite a unique one. So, does my position as a younger (ish) male therapist cause people to come to me with their male role model issues or do we just have an underlying male role model issue as a society??

The reality is it’s probably a bit of both.

There’s a possibility I may see more male role model issues than other therapists because of my age and sex. But for every person that may want to work with a man on their male role model issues there will be another that doesn’t, so I’m not entirely convinced that’s the sole reason. Let’s ask a bigger question then: do we have a problem with finding and creating positive male role models in our society? 

This one is harder to answer purely because of how complex it is so all I can base it on is my experience. The lack of positive male role models is having big consequences and I’m seeing this in therapy. Numerous men, women, boys and girls are currently having a hard time in many ways in relation to the role model issue: what ‘being a man’ means, feeling safe with men, emotionally connecting to men, embracing their masculinity etc etc.

How do we start to address this? Acknowledge the importance of male role models for both sexes. Both sexes desperately need good male role models. Men need to know being a man has an important role to play for society, that THEY are important. Women need to know how to feel loved by and feel safe with men. That feels like a good place to start.